Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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