I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Randomize
