you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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