the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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