I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
