that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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