You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
