you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
And then the night went full on bisexual.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
