I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
