wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
