what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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