Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Randomize
