I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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