I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
