What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
