Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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