It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
