I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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