my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
