Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
