i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
