I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
