At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I think I am morally bankrupt
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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