Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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