I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Randomize
