At least make sure they are 18
Why
Just cropdusted the office
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
