My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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