Say something about gay babies.
bring money and cleavage
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
