She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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