I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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