This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
