dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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