i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
