there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
