I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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