Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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