dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Quick, to the slutcave!
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
