worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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