yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize