I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
no you cant smoke seaweed
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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