Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
