Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
