and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
