we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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