Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I want to walk on stilts...naked
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Randomize
