His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Randomize