remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i just had sex bonerless
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Watching her eat just hurts me
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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