the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize