I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Randomize
