he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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