I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
