wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
