I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
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