chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
love makes seman taste better
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
