I want to walk on stilts...naked
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
