The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Randomize
