I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
