woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
