turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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