HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
