and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize