So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Randomize
