I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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