mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize