i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I think my moral compass just broke
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
