xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
