You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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