So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
