Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
