it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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