Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
