her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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