its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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