I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
