I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
he's gonorrhea incarnate
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
