My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
