UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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