If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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