I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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