She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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