Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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