it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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