Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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