please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
